Linda Wants to Know: Do You Mind if Men Check Out Your Chest?

By Linda the Bra Lady on September 5th, 2011

Today I tackle a very debatable topic: breast attention. Whether you want to admit it or not, boobs get a lot of attention. If you’re an A cup or a K cup, how you decorate, support, or even show them off: all of these factors will make a difference in how other people view you and your breasts.  What I struggle with, though, is how hard it is to define good attention versus bad attention. Some women claim that flaunting their best assets is just a way to feel sexy, wanted and feminine. After all, most of the people staring tend to be men- who don’t have the pleasure of having breasts in the first place. Maybe showcasing your breasts is just a way to announce “I’m proud of being a woman!”. But then again in certain circumstances, someone staring at your breasts may be unwanted and inappropriate. I guess there are certain things that we choose not to show, for that reason. There are other ::cough cough:: parts of our bodies that men do not have, and we don’t go around showcasing that, do we? Ok, well, I don’t anyway.

It’s very hard to reach a clear answer to this question. Partly, because each woman has a different view of her body, of herself, and of what role breasts play in her identity. Think about Pam Anderson and Dolly Parton- those ladies are known for their larger-than-life breasts. Then again, some women claim that their feminine curves get in the way of men taking them seriously at work, cause unwanted cat calls on the street, and are distracting during (what should be) casual encounters with the opposite sex. I touched lightly on the topic in my Nipple Nightmares post, and it got me thinking: What’s the right kind of breast attention? Here are some tips on how to make sure that your breast attention is the best attention:

  • Be proud of what you have: I want to start right off the bat by saying that it’s important to embrace your shape. It’s yours! And your breasts are part of what make up your unique shape! A lot of women want to hide or mash down their breasts. Not only does this always look worse, but it takes away a special part of who you are. Celebrate what makes you, you!

  • Support your assets: As noted above, women who are embarrassed by their shape, or are clueless on how to work with it, tend to wear bras that mash their breasts down. Most of the time, these women attempt to achieve this look by wearing the wrong size. Remember my mantra: you’ll always feel better and look better in the right size. Believe it or not, even a good minimizer still lifts! So, getting your breasts up and in place will not only put them back where they belong, but they will showcase other parts of your body. Remember, once breasts are lifted, your waist (AKA the smallest part of you!) is more visible. Lifted breasts give your body a longer, leaner look- every time! Furthermore, no one wants stares because they are a bra “don’t”. Breasts that are not in their proper place will have you getting stares for all of the wrong reasons.

  • Remember your personal style: You know how some women can pull off a crazy leopard-print romper, but you feel your best in a pair of dark jeans and a tee-shirt? Same rule applies for breasts. You get to decide how to dress them. Want to showcase a sexy strap? Want a figure enhancing plunge to go with that sexy v-neck? Great! Or, want a full coverage bra? Craving a seamless number that looks great under work attire? Fabulous! Just like any other part of fashion, deciding how much breast to show is part of your personal style. Same thing goes for different clothing for different occasions. You probably won’t choose to wear the same thing to your nephew’s 1st birthday party as you would for a friend’s bachelorette party. Ditto for breasts.

  • Nursing Moms get a pass: We just had a very vocal and wonderful exchange of ideas about nursing in public on my Facebook page. Though most women agreed that discretion is best, many gave nursing women a pass when it comes to breast exposure. Feeding your child and flaunting your bosom are two very different things.

  • Unwanted is unwanted: Some women have the reputation of “asking for it”. This  means displaying so much breast that it seems like an open invitation for anyone to ogle. I disagree. Even if a woman chooses to showcase her cleavage, and even if she appreciates a few looks, outright staring and harassment are never ok. I get it, breasts are both sexual and functional (hello, nursing moms!). We can’t forget that they play a very important part in a woman’s sexuality. But, crossing the line from appreciating ones’ bust, to sexual harassment is not ok. Sometimes it takes a simple and frank: “Hi. My eyes are up here”. Other times, the situation can be more serious, or threatening. Either way, speak up about what you want- or do not want!

So how do you deal with boob stares? Do you choose to cover up? Do you flaunt it? Does age or size have anything to do with it? I know that as I have ::ahem:: aged, my taste on men checking out my bust has changed. And what about when someone crosses the line? I’m curious to hear what kind of breast attention YOU think is the best attention? Leave a comment!